Strong, independent woman.

Here in the Philippines, a girl becomes a woman when she turns 18. Traditionally, during a debut party, the parents will present their daughter to be eligible for marriage to the public. Nowadays, the party is just guests wear suits and cocktails dresses, godparents give 18 years worth of presents, and friends try not to spill secrets in front of the girl woman's parents. But my friends and I didn't have any of that. We didn't like any of those extravagance. We're non-traditional and practical. Given that we have our friends and families 300 miles apart, it's a headache to choose where to celebrate. We became adults in our own quiet ways.

I just a booked my flight home yesterday. with. my. own. money. I've been living on my own since April: paying my own rent, buying my own food, and even sending my parents money when they wanted to "fix" our supposedly dirty kitchen.

I'm really trying to save money to buy myself a secondhand non-kit lens but this new sense of financial freedom to eat whatever I want is really getting in the way. I'll be broke once I buy the lens but I'll be telling people that I "need to exercise".

My makeup kit was finally returned last week so I spent last night searching for the right foundation and lipstick online. I'm really babyfaced even in Southeast Asian standards that I'm scared of looking like a child trying hard to be an adult. I actually hate going to bars because of this.

Oh, I just remembered that I need to buy a navy blue dress for a report this Thursday (or is it Wednesday?). I actually hate shopping. I always feel like the dresses aren't good enough, or that they're out style, or perhaps everyone just dress the same.

In the next couple of months, I'll be working on a blog about living on my own. I haven't decided yet if it's going to be personal or a collaboration with my friends. It will be presented as a lifestyle blog, satirically. I don't plan on writing much because it will be avenue to work on my photography skillz, and my WP-theme-coding skillz as well.

But before all of that, I will have to stop this procrastination. I have a lot of schoolwork and officework to do.

I feel so adult and independent. It's fucking scary.